Once you shift your focus from yourself to others and extend your concern to others, this will have the immediate effect of opening up your life and helping you to reach out. The practice of cultivating altruism has a beneficial effect not only from a religious point of view but also from a mundane point of view; not only for long-term spiritual development but even in terms of immediate rewards. Dalai Lama

here it is May 25th 2010 and I have not been journaling.Life is passing me by so fast. Tonight was a reunion with friends from the early 70's... Bart Truxillo , Michele Mair, Janice Beeson, Tina Nelkin and Glenna Robbins..ALl these wonderful individuals who have been a part of the community that acted out of the box, embraced diversity and creativity and most of all individuality. These were the galaxy starlings that revolved around the universe of Steve Ocain's circle of friends..Just a few ..Only this circle understands the dynamics of what that means. So my writing at this point means nothing to anyone else.and that is ok. cause I am tired and off to bed.

onward through the fog

the days go by so quickly it seems...I am feeling the need to be still and meditate for days only too much to tend to..Loved ones loosing loved ones..Having to adjust to a life without the other.

The weight of it all. The beauty of the bond that was had.

Everyday I have an enriching encounter with another. I am blessed.

Only it makes me want to continue to having more when I have so many other things I think I ought to be doing..I have neglected my own creative endeavors always trying to assist in others endeavors. It seems easier or maybe I just haven't yet given myself permission to help myself..

I haven't posted anything in so long I forgot how and my password. My daily life is so full of other's realities.. I feel like I channel surf through daily life rather than tv. I truly am rich with "friends" and acquaintances who have enriched my path for inspiration and turmoil.

In the last few years there have been too many losses from too much suffering. On my personal side: Jim Love, Tim McGlashen, Robert Carney, Rich Morgan, Bryan Landry. My friend Rich in Tucson AZ. passed a few weeks ago and the celebration and send off is on Monday due to the fact he was in production for show biz.. built sets for Tucson opera and worked on films. Monday is a dark day..they don't work but it will also be dark cause we no longer have Rich around. In July he took a serious turn to discover he had cancer that had progressed into his pancreas unknowingly, went into immediate treatment which extended his life by possibly 5 months. Molly said she thinks he did it for the kids, never complained and that a life time of bonding took place..The local community radio station KXCI is taking an hr Morgan's fav. music, Houston's Lightnin' Hopkins, Townes Van Zandt and such... People have been donating to KXCI in his honor, and when a friend of his family tried to "buy" an hour--they offered to do it gratis. His grown kids, Lily and Clay and his wife Molly, submitted the play list--it could've gone on for hours..It can be streamed..2pm-3pm west coast time. He was a good friend to many and a good guy. Toodles Rich. I tip my cowgirl hat off to ya. You saved my rear many a few times. Thanks mucho amigo!

Today seemed to be a tough day for me but I manage to plow through. The Haitian dilemma is quite disturbing and the inability to get supplies in quicker with loaded planes sitting on the tarmac astounds me. It is harrowing how for all practical purposes the bodies are scooped up and lifted like during the holocaust and just dumped without any burial. I hope the people will find the strength to persevere with relentlessness.. I felt a heaviness in my heart today and it was hard to get motivated. I have no reason to complain about anything.

The good people in our lives are very important.

So this afternoon I went out to check out a health club facility ..On the way back at 5pm found myself stopping the truck to get out and take more of those darn bird photos..The light was so beautiful and some blue sky was showing up to create that warm light as it reflected off the objects..Heading home stopped in at Texas Junk and a bunch of Alley Theater folks were in some being from NYC crew as well as a few other new Hou. arrivals. That is the place to hit for used cowboy boots. It was a nice mix and of course I started taking photos. the props are all there. At least that is where a lot of folks go to get props for shoots and theater. Love how everything is very organized by category..I have the best time in there with other photographers. It is totally play time. Since it had been a while since we visited, owner, Bob Novotney and I headed to Dharma Cafe as rumor has it they need some activity. The cafes are struggling and they even hire local musicians to play. So we had to do our part. Ran into people who had been in the shop earlier and the manager of the KPFT Duane Bradley and his lovely wife and son who just returned from Egypt studying film for the last semester and then another who has an artist warehouse on the edge of town. There was a nice mix of different caliber of folks in the cafe instead of the usual all the same kind in many places I go to around Houston's establishments.. It feels good to know the folks who are part of the wheels that make up this communities eccentric colorful characters who actually make a difference in what they do..As we drove around we see how our neighborhoods becoming so gentrified to the point I can not identify where I am at times. I don't mind change if it enhances the area but the developers don't think this way. I can not imagine what the longevity is of some of these structures being put up. Not only is the character of the area disappearing but we are all getting older, more home bodies and in some cases moving away. It is nice to see the "tribe " outside of our venues in others public spaces rather than an event where you know who will be there..all of the same..

Johannes Birringer has been in Houston for a few weeks , some as a house guest in between his 'other' location. Today after two weeks of postponing we had lunch to get caught up before his departure back to UK as a post modern theater director of the company Alien Nation and professor at Brunel University in London. After having several published writings and books on contemporary art and post modern theater, he is writing a beginners hand book for young students as well as translation into Spanish. Some of my artist friends do not see the benefit of Facebook. Usually the ones most critical have never done it nor understand how they can benefit from it..He is one.